For more photos, please visit Rubbish Eat Rubbish Grow: http://rubbisheatrubbishgrow.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/mellvin-seafood-restaurant-龙记海鲜螃蟹王-joo-chiat/

Joo Chiat is fast becoming the next Geylang. You know what red-light districts bring? AWESOME food. The second thing Joo Chiat is known for is quaint little boutique cafes and so we went to a cze char (煮炒, or cook-fry) coffeeshop. Naturally.

On a Friday night, the entire world was at Joo Chiat. So haps! There are a public carpark opposite the coffeeshop and legal parallel parking along the road but too few lots. Don’t illegal park; this is notorious summon area. You canpark at 112 Katong (newly opened) and walk down. But Iparked my lorry at Waraku, just beside 112 Katong because the car queue at 112 was ridiculous and this little princess doesn’t wait for anything. The good thing about parking a distance away is you can exercise before and after the meal. That’s how I maintain my hourglass figure.

Because of the bad traffic, by the time The Ex, Hookerlily, Mao Mao and I (Wise Guy) gathered, we were famished and could eat a shark, which we did.

XO Vegetables (XO小菜 $8). The manager told us that the chef ate this dish in Malaysia and brought it to Singapore. The Ex exclaimed, “Woah, so 厉害, so sharp, eat once only can replicate it.” It is quite similar to tempura: the vegetables–eggplant, ladyfingers, string beans and petai (stink beans or 臭豆)–are deep-fried before they are stir-fried with 美人鱼 (mermaid or plus-size ikan bilis/anchovies), dry scallop shreds, belachan (chili shrimp paste), and a tinge of tomato sauce.

Wise Guy found it unique, original and brave because many Chinese-Singaporeans don’t like to eat gooey vegetables–eggplant and ladyfingers–and this dish features both. However, because of the way the vegetables were cooked, the eggplant and ladyfingers were not at all gooey. Very smart. But Wise Guy thought the absorbent eggplant–who needs tampon?–was oily and The Ex suggested that it would be better if the eggplant were sliced thinner. Old Skool Mao Mao, however, said, “毛毛非常喜欢.” The reason Hookerlily and Mao Mao liked it is because the dish possessed a verykampong, homely feel and at the same time, complex. The flavors bounced off each other very well: the sweetness from the dry scallop, the spiciness from the belachan, and the earthliness of the vegetables. Hookerlily said the ladyfingers were perfect. While The Ex and I believed this dish was pleasing, Mao Mao and Hookerlily declared this was a “must-have.”

The Tofu Salad (沙拉豆腐 $10) is made of deep-fried home-made tofu, consisting of seafood paste and carrots, on top of green apple mayo salad on a cabbage leaf. While we appreciated how the shop tries to be innovative, Mao Mao preferred it to be hot, as hot as Wise Guy (very difficult); The Ex opined the green apple soured the dish; Wise Guy thought that the excess mayonnaise–both on the tofu and in the salad–is an overkill. Hookerlily was traumatized by mayonnaise in general because her mother pronounced it as bayonnaise.

The manager was apprehensive to introduce the Shark Head Cartilage Casserole to us because she said, “Young people cannot really appreciate the dish.” WOW, flattery gets her everywhere. Bring on the shark!

The thick gravy was still bubbling as it arrived. The fragrance was OMG mentally-torturing me as I controlled myself to take the photo.

Mao Mao: Hookerlily, you must eat more of this, full of collagen.
Wise Guy: What are you trying to imply, Mao Mao?
Yes! Shit-stirring scored!

Anyway, back to the dish. It was AWESOME. It reminded me of 盆菜, a casserole dish of seafood delicacies, a “must-have” during Chinese New Year. Obviously, this dish was slightly less sweet than 盆菜, having only shark cartilage. The nature of jelly cartilage had a slightly bitter taste, perceptible only to extremely sensitive tastebuds. But the way the dish was cooked, with the sauce penetrating deeply into the cartilage, made the cartilage so delicious. You must put the gravy over rice. Very, very savory. This dish is a winner, and we four all loved it.

We were confused over Prawn-paste Sea Cucumber (海参虾米 $15). The prawn paste, consisting of 虾米 (dried shrimps), minced pork and minced lard, is usually fried with string beans. Sea cucumber by itself has no taste and absorbs whatever sauce it’s cooked in. So, this sea cucumber dish tasted salty, spicy, porky and lardy. The conservative Ex didn’t like this radical dish. Mao Mao likes lard, so he liked this. Wise Guy was confused: at first he thought sea cucumber should taste more oceany, then he thought he shouldn’t be so inveterate and the dish was rather savory, addictive and the spicy (from small chili) and saltiness went very well with rice and then he vacillated between the two opinions he had. He obviously needs to see a shrink.Showstopper Curry Crab Bee Hoon. The manager said that people always order the shop’s two specialities, curry fish head and claypot crab clear broth bee hoon. The patrons would extract the bee hoon from the clear broth and add the curry over the bee hoon. The manager discussed it with the chef and ta-da! the 2-in-1 dish is born.

The best way to eat is to eat the crab first and let the bee hoon absorb the curry. Unlike other noodles, the thick bee hoon is a good choice because it won’t become soggy so it’s ok for it to soak.

The crab was amazingly sweet and fresh. After letting the bee hoon simmer in the pot, it got more and more delicious towards the end as the curry infused into the beehoon. The curry was rather spicy and had a kick. It was also very, very lip-smacking; you can taste the spices of lemongrass and curry leaves and the sweetness of the crab even in the heat of the curry. By the bottom of the cauldron, we were converts and all lovin’ it. This dish gets four out of four votes for a “must-have.”

The coffeeshop brews barley, lemon tea and lime juice with sour plum, the last of which goes well with curry.

There are places so competitive that if your food is not good, your shop will close in three months. Chinatown for one. Old Airport market, another. Joo Chiat is another place I can think of. On the outside, Mellvin looks like your average rundown coffeeshop. But the food aims to be innovative and the chef can whip up a wide range of food, each tasting different but equally delicious. We’d like to thank the friendly manager for her hospitality and her stories on how they concocted the food.

For more photos, please visit Rubbish Eat Rubbish Grow: http://rubbisheatrubbishgrow.wordpress.com/2011/12/15/island-creamery-bukit-timah/

After eating so much at The Curry Wok, we wanted to eat more. Naturally. Like kindness begetting kindness, eating also begets more eating.

We were shocked at how this looked like ulu land on the outside, but the parlor was bustling. So popular with families, teenagers, students, and bears aka fat gay men!

The decor looks like a bad and cheap imitation of 1950s American restaurants. Definitely not a date place, unless you’re a teenager.Mudpie was mine while Mr NGFL got two scoops of ice kalim. The mudpie was not bad, with coffee ice cream on the top, cookies-and-cream ice kalim at the bottom and a very awesome peanut-buttery(?) crust. After we finished – did we stop? OF COURSE NOT!

We shared an apple pie with a scoop of burnt caramel ice kalim. The two of them went very well together (I have good taste, I picked the ice cream although Mr NGFL insisted he was the one). The apple pie was cold when I like the apple pie to be hot. It wasn’t too sweet or sour. The crust wasn’t the flaky kind; it was the doughy kind. Mr NGFL liked it but I’m not sure how I feel about carb-by crust and wolfed everything down anyway.

You can see how run-down the ice cream parlor is becoming over the years. The ice cream is still good but then ice cream is ice cream – the few bad ice creams… we call it “sorbet.” But still, a nice way to end dinner. We liked everything we ate. Less noisy teenagers–or teenagers hanging out in groups with a confused teenager who doesn’t know yet he’s gay–would be nice but then again, in American movies, teenagers hang out at ice cream parlors all the time too. Recommended if you want good ice cream and don’t mind teenagers or are a pedophile. It’s Pedophile Hunting Ground, peeps! Licky lick.

For photos, please visit Rubbish Eat Rubbish Grow: http://rubbisheatrubbishgrow.wordpress.com/2011/12/11/the-curry-wok-bukit-timah/

The decor is old-skool homely style with two tables along the corridor. As a neighbourhood eatery, the boss/server knows everyone and is very friendly. She recommended a few dishes to us.

Ngo hiang ($5). Wah, really quite solid. Not oily, crispy and you can really taste the home-cook-ness and hand-made-ness of this dish with slightly bigger piece of carrots to give it a sweetness and crunchiness. Very delicious – but can be less expensive?

Fish head Curry ($20) is their specialty. I prefer more sourish assam fish head but the boss/server told us that different people feedback-ed different things, so they adjust the curry to be half-assam, half-curry. The curry was quite robust but not very hot-spicy and the fish was fresh but not extremely fresh. Crowd-pleaser, everyone would love this. We drank up the curry and about 5000 calories.Normally, obedient Singaporeans would stop at two – but we don't live in the 80s anymore and Mr NGFL said he wanted to try the lor bah ($8) or braised pork and beancurd. This was the only dish we weren’t very satisfied because the pork was cold and wasn’t tender. However, the sauce was very flavorful, and had a kick.

Including rice ($2/bowl) and drinks, we spent a total of $44.

Overall, great unpretentious place with friendly service, serving the food at a quick pace. Delicious food that has a home-cooked quality. Definitely an eatery worth returning.

For photos, please visit Rubbish Eat Rubbish Grow: http://rubbisheatrubbishgrow.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/sugar-granny-cafe-outram-chinatown/

I came here every Tuesday for near to two months in a row because it was quiet and convenient and cheap, one of the few cool cafes in Chinatown that is open in the hot afternoons.

Very interesting characters you will see here. I saw a boss with his secretary from a nearby company–they were doing some paper work but their hands were on each other, and ring ring! the boss’s wife telephoned. Once, I saw an uncle with his China Money Boy. (ps: trust me, I know a Money Boy when I see one because I cum in contact with them for work! Don’t think dirty.) Wow, the China Money Boy is so hot! He looks like a hunky version of Dai Yang Tian, in a very tight shirt, showing his ripped biceps. His body is tight! Drool. If I had $200 (that’s how much they cost), I’d put my money down. I tried very hard not to look at him, but he kept staring at me. I find the Uncle very poor thing. I’m not good-looking but the Money Boy felt that I was a better choice than the Uncle. And the Uncle tried so hard to impress him it was bordering on the point of pathetic. This is a Mandarin-speaking shop with Mandarin-speaking waitresses and the obviously Mandarin-speaking Uncle spoke in broken English to the waitress just to impress the Money Boy of his bilingualism. Very sad lah, in the Gay World, once you’re old, you lose currency. The nearby Keong Saik St is also known for the illegal female prostitutes. Underground Chinatown is very colorful.

I never ordered the food because it’s mostly fried food, calamari, fried chicken wings, fries, fried fishballs and sotongballs, etc. (See the menu here.) I’ve a firm belief that all deep-fried food are similar, unless the food is made from scratch and I don’t expect the food here to be made from scratch.I always ordered the Chinese desserts. I’ve tried the sesame paste ($2.50) thrice, peanut paste ($2.50), Bailey with gingko ($2), Mango sago with pomelo (pictured, $3.50), Durian sago ($4).

The desserts were ok, smooth, but taste-wise, they cannot be compared to Mei Heong Yuan, which is only a few streets away. Out of the desserts, I prefer the sesame paste because it is so kick-ass sweet. It disregards diabetes completely, like diabetes is no longer a problem. Dead Sea is so salty it doesn’t allow life in it–this is like the Sugar version of the Dead Sea. And it tasted very different from other sesame paste too. There was a slightly burnt/roasted scent which is nice.

Overall, I think the food is average, the service is borderline-lazy, bo-chap, and the decor is cheesy and uncomfortable. The food isn’t even value-for-money, since there are so much good food at a cheap price in Chinatown. The reason it survives in the competitive Chinatown is because there are no other cafes nearby. Pray Starbucks doesn’t open here.

For photos, please visit Rubbish Eat Rubbish Grow: http://rubbisheatrubbishgrow.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/shunjuu-izakaya-robertson-quay/

A lackadaisical day. Chiobu and I meandered slowly along Robertson Quay and settled on this Japanese restaurant, Shunjuu Izakaya. “Izakaya” means “place of comfort,” and of course, comfort means alcohol. Too bad we are almost teetotalers. Is the decor comforting? Well, it is fuss-free. Seats are placed along the corridor of Riverside View building, but still far away from the canal, so there isn’t a view to speak of. Not much of an ambience.

The restaurant is also known for its “sumiyaki,” or skewered BBQ meat over Japanese charcoal.The complimentary starters were quite appetizing. The raddish and carrots, as appetizers, were soaked in a miso-soup until the roots were throughly soft, absorbing the essence of the soup. Another free entree was a very hard white cabbage. (Chiobu said, “Can eat this raw meh???”) First, you squeeze sour lemon over the very salty, slightly sweet bean sauce. Then you dip the almost tasteless white cabbage in the sauce. Crunchy like celery but much tastier.

Mixed Sashimi for $40. While they were relatively fresh, we didn’t think it was value-for-money. $40 should buy you a meal, not a few pieces of sashimi.

We also had Set A ($19) and Set B ($25) of sumiyaki. Set A consists of beef short rib, asparagus rolled with pork, chicken meat ball, golden mushroom rolled with beef, and pork belly. Set B has rib eye, scallop rolled with pork, rice cake rolled with pork, chicken wing and goose liver (foie gras).

It is difficult to pick the better set because they all have positive and negative food in them. The bad ones you should avoid: from set A, pork belly (too hard), beef short rib (overcooked) and from set B, scallop rolled in pork (tasteless), rice cake with pork (too sticky and bland and starchy). The fantastic ones are: from Set B, rib eye (very tender), chicken wing (flavorful!), and goose liver (melts in your mouth!).

Service was good and attention.

Overall, everything–the food, the service and the ambience–was satisfactory but not overly memorable. We won’t come out of the way to eat this but if we are in the area, then we wouldn’t mind. Including $2 green tea per person, and GST, etc, we paid $104 for two persons.